Monday, April 19, 2010

Chapter 15: That Ancient Serpent

Intense.

This last week has been so intense. The Lord has been ministering me left and right. If we're wanting freedom, He will reveal the truth, because the truth will set us free. In prayer, the Lord confronted me, when I went outside He was showing me, and in church on Sunday, He emphasized it too!

I thank Him for His perseverance and dedication. He is faithful. He began a good work in us and He is faithful to finish it until the return of our Lord Jesus!


What have you seen in yourself that you disliked in a parent or grandparent?

To be honest, I knew that I was doing this and yet would justify it. I thought surely this is something the Lord must be revealing to me concerning my husband. But as it turned out, it's not him, it's me!

I hadn't done it in a while just sporadically here and there, once in a while, occasionally. But it was still there. Even when it didn't manifest. The pain, the hurt, the attitude was still there.

As a child, I was compared in a negative light to my father. And as an adult, wife, and mother, the Lord revealed how I was doing the same. Sometimes, it didn't manifest in actual words, but rather in thoughts. I would see something that our tween did and think, "She learned that from Randy." It annoyed and upset me.

Slowly, the Lord started to minister me on this. I remember Him telling me gently in my heart that I was practicing this sin. I felt convicted. Throughout the week, I prayed and repented. I confessed to my husband and asked for his forgiveness. Although I had done this before (confessing and asking for forgiveness), I hadn't repented. I hadn't changed my mind about what was going on. I still thought it was him. But Holy Spirit convicted me about the sin, and this time, I repented. I didn't grieve Him by ignoring Him or dismissing the severity of it (for God's glory).

And because He is so good, He really wanted to make sure that I got it, and I did. During the week, I was able to speak to man who told me about the hurt and pain caused by his mother because she compared him to his father. I was able to see first hand how possibly damaging my sin could have been to my marriage and children.

Yesterday's preaching was for me!!!!!!! Jesus, help me, heal me. I don't want this mat. I want to walk!!!!!

We got home and I felt such an urgency to pray. I mean an urgency. Not a desire. Not even a need, but an urgency. Hubby had already begun to pray with our tot in the living room. I was (because God is Sovereign) in the our bedroom with our tween. I felt Holy Spirit's presence so beautifully upon us. He began to minister me. Hubby then comes with tot to join us. We pray.

I begin to speak with my tween and repent before her. I ask her for forgiveness. She forgives. Then we all start talking and even my tot is confessing and asking for forgiveness. Aleluya!!!! But it doesn't stop there.

This morning, I awoke because the Lord had given me a dream regarding our marriage. Hubby is in the living room praying. I kneel before my Lord and begin to pray. I then begin to speak to Hubby and Holy Spirit is right there ministering us.

He is just so good!!! It doesn't have to stop. He continues. He wants to free us. He doesn't want anything to keep us from Him. What amazing love!!!!!

So no more comparisons. They are no longer a part of us. Their effects on our lives have been undone by the blood of Jesus!

Side Note: If you comment on the blog make sure to subscribe to replies that way you'll be notified if someone replies directly to your comment:)

No comments:

Post a Comment

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14